Thursday, January 26, 2012

Taking Time....

I have a really hard time taking time for myself. Today was one of those days when I just felt like I neglected myself and the kids were a lot to handle. Days go by so quickly and I feel like I'm getting so behind which makes me stuck....not wanting or knowing where to start. I obviously have so much to be grateful for, but sometimes being a Mom and defining my role is really hard. I want to be my own person, be encouraged and supported in doing things I love most. I don't always give myself the time I deserve to do those things...crafts, writing, listening to music...etc...
I guess being on my period doesn't help lol!
Our new home that we moved into last December still has a lot of work to be done. It's not quite feeling like "home" yet. I can't believe how many toys 2 kids can have. There's just so much to do, but I wonder if I am stressing over nothing or stressing over the non-important things.
Venting...that's all :)

Wednesday, January 18, 2012

Happy 4th Birthday Kiyoko!!

My sweet, sweet, Kiyoko...aka: KoKo, KoKo Bean Soup Marie, Cookie, KoKo Moko, Snoober and so many more...
At 7:58pm on January 18th 2008 we were blessed with a love that I never knew existed. It was you...our first born child. You were so perfect. The labor was 16.5hrs, but the chance to reach down and pull the rest of you out from under your arms onto my belly was the most amazing memory I'll ever have of you. Your warm, soft body laid on me, skin to skin, and my hand rested on your cute little bunnies to keep you on my stomach. I remember the exact feeling of your little body resting on mine like it was yesterday. The doctors let me keep you on me for quite a while and it was in that moment that our bond started and has only grown stronger every day since then. You have become such a beautiful, loving and caring soul. I can rarely imagine my life before you. The love I have for you goes beyond the barriers that words can express. It's a love that only a Mother can feel for her child and I can only hope that one day you will get to hold your baby in your own arms to feel the same way.

4 years later and things seem to speed by so fast. I try to take each moment and cherish it. I love to listen to you talk and reason with me. You are so smart and witty. Now that you are a big sister I can't imagine a better sibling for our little Kaya. You are so helpful and caring; always watching out for her and making sure she's ok. I trust you with her even though you are only 4! You amaze me more and more every day.

We are trying to put you back in school, but you are pretty adamant about staying home with Mommy and Kaya :p Technically you will not start Kindergarden until you are 5, turning 6 (so about 2 more years!) Hopefully you will change your mind because I know you need to be around other kids your age (not just your cousins that you are obsessed with!) I know that you are going to turn into such an amazing Woman one day and I can only hope that we can remain connected on the level we have since you were born. You are my best friend, my cherished love and first born child. I love you more than you'll ever know. I wish for you to be anything you want to be and to conquer all the dreams you have in your life. I will back you up no matter what, I'll never judge you and will always love you unconditionally.

I love you baby girl!
Happy 4th Birthday!!!


This was a funny email I just got from my mom that I thought my kids would laugh at when they got old enough to read it :p


  Growing up without a cell phone

 If you are 36, or older, you might think this is hilarious!

When I was a kid, adults used to bore me to tears with their tedious diatribes about how hard things were. When they were growing up; what with walking twenty-five miles to school every
 morning....Uphill... Barefoot...BOTH ways...yadda, yadda, yadda

And I remember promising myself that when I grew up, there was no way in hell I was going to lay a bunch of crap like that on my kids about how hard I had it was and how easy they've got it!

But now that I'm over the ripe old age of forty, I can't help but look around and notice the youth of today.  You've got it so easy!  I mean, compared to my childhood, you live in a damn Utopia! And I hate to say it, but you kids today, you don't know how good you've got it!

1)  I mean, when I was a kid we didn't have the Internet.  If we wanted to know something, we had to go to the damn library and look it up ourselves, in the card catalog!! 

2) There was no email!!  We had to actually write somebody a letter - with a pen! Then you had to walk all the way across the street and put it in the mailbox, and it would take like a week to get there!  Stamps were 10 cents!

3) Child Protective Services didn't care if our parents beat
 us.  As a matter of fact, the parents of all my friends also  had permission to kick our ass! Nowhere was safe!

4) There were no MP3's or Napsters or iTunes!  If you wanted to steal music, you had to hitchhike to the record store and shoplift it yourself!

5) Or you had to wait around all day to tape it off the radio, and the DJ would usually talk over the beginning and @#*% it all up!  There were no CD players!  We had tape decks in our car.  We'd play our favorite tape and "eject" it when finished, and then the tape would come undone rendering it useless.  Cause, hey, that's how we rolled, Baby! 

6) We didn't have fancy crap like Call Waiting!  If you were on  the phone and somebody else called, they got a busy signal, that's  it!

7) There weren't any freakin' cell phones either. If you left the house, you just didn't make a damn call or receive one. You actually had to be out of touch with your "friends". OH MY GOSH!!!  Think of the horror... not being in touch with someone 24/7!!!  And then there's TEXTING.  Yeah, right. 

 8)  And we didn't have fancy Caller ID either! When the phone rang, you had no idea who it was!  It could be your school, your parents, your boss, your bookie, your drug dealer, the collection agent... you just didn't know!!!  You had to pick it up and take your chances, mister!

9) We didn't have any fancy PlayStation or Xbox video games with high-resolution 3-D graphics!  Wehad the Atari 2600!  With games like 'Space Invaders' and 'Asteroids'.  Your screen guy was a little square!  You actually had to use your imagination!!!  And there were no multiple levels or screens,  it was just one screen.. Forever!  And you could never win.  The game just kept getting harder and harder and faster and faster until you died!  Just like LIFE!

10) You had to use a little book called a TV Guide to find out what was on! You were screwed when it came to channel surfing!  You had to get off your ass and walk over to the TV to change the channel!!!  NO REMOTES!!!  Oh, no, what's the world coming to?!?!

11) There was no Cartoon Network either! You could only get cartoons on Saturday Morning.  Do you hear what I'm saying? We had to wait ALL WEEK for cartoons.

12) And we didn't have microwaves.  If we wanted to heat  something up, we had to use the stove!  Imagine that!

13) And our parents told us to stay outside and play... all day long.  Oh, no, no electronics to soothe and comfort. 
And if you came back inside... you were doing chores! And car seats - oh, please!  Mom threw you in the back seat and
you hung on.  If you were lucky, you got the "safety arm"
across the chest at the last moment if she had to stop suddenly, and if your head hit the dashboard, well that was your fault for calling "shot gun" in the first place! 
 You kids today have got it too easy. You guys wouldn't have  lasted five minutes back in 1970.